More Money Please . . .

As both girls are sleeping, I sit down to finally blog what's been on my mind. Myrah wakes up and is now nursing but this is how things go these days. =)

Twice in the last few weeks when talking to woman I've been asked what I do. I respond with enthusiasm and say, "Nothing!" and smile. They then go on to explain how they too get to stay home and just love it. But then they go on to tell me about what they do on the side and both have summed it up with, "that way I feel like I'm contributing and helping out (financially)." My first response is shame and I want to add that for awhile I was doing daycare to help out, or that I sell things online occasionally or that I . . . wait . . . no, I really don't do much to bring in money. Then instead of feeling like a slacker a sense of consuming pride fills within me. And then I think to myself how wonderful it is that my husband provides totally for our family.

I feel a little old-fashioned. And at the same time it makes me feel more like a woman. Letting my husband be the man that he was created to be, for me, means also letting him provide for us completely. And it feels great. My way of "contributing" is not by bringing in more, which might imply that what he does isn't enough, but by cutting back. It's my job to take what he gives me and make a family budget. It's my job to see that our budget works for us. It feels GOOD to pay $3 for a pair of shoes for the girls, or to buy something we need used in good condition. It feels GOOD to hunt for good deals and save our family money. It feels GOOD to live within a budget. And I know it makes my husband proud.

So you won't hear me talking about going back to work or buying a new SUV (tempting). We love traveling, Starbucks (Jamba Juice for Andrew) and those little things that make life more comfortable (looking at my toes I could sure use a pedicure =). And money is one of those things we could all use more of. Trust me, I still look forward to that raise coming in January and being able to live in a house that I'd feel a little more comfortable in. But at the same time, where I'm at and where we live now is great, it's safe and it feels like home. So, between my husband's hard work and my savings we're able to enjoy all these things (on occasion) and truly live blessed while still being able to give and bless others. It feels GOOD to be where we are. It feels GOOD to have my man be my provider. And it feels GOOD to be a little old-fashioned.

I'm proud of my husband. I'm proud of my manly provider (who, might I add, not only works hard for his family doing something that doesn't necessarily thrill him, but also comes home and works hard to help around the house and give mommy needed breaks from the precious girls).

My Man

I'm a lucky girl.
I've got a strong man.

Two Under Two

Today I blog in repsonse to a couple of expectant mothers who also have toddlers Anastyn's age and have asked me how I'm getting along with the girls. I think we all have the same fears going into this phase of life with two babies so young and close together.

Andi and MJ both asleep on the couch.

Here was my response . . .

Let me start by saying two things:

1. It DOES get easier.

2."Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow

For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!"

I found my fear of having the two so close with Andi being so young was not all together necessary. The one advantage to all my worrying is I can honestly say, "it's not as bad as I thought it would be," and "Anastyn is doing much better than I expected." That said, I do have two wonderful babies. My heart goes out to the parents of colicky babies all the time. I just can't imagine.

The first week (stretched to 2-3 weeks really) I had a lot of help from my mom. She did the cooking and cleaning and the helping hold one baby while I put the other one down. I had no idea what I'd do once she stopped coming over all day until hubby got home. But when that day came I had to face it and I found it to go surprisingly well. It was almost a welcomed relief and assurance . . . I CAN do this. Just us girls. I'M the mom.

There are moments when things don't go as smoothly as I'd like. I found out early on that Anastyn CAN fall asleep with a crying baby laying right next to her. =/ And there are times, most days in fact, that the house work waits as I play with and take care of my babies. Too often the high chair doesn't get cleaned after Andi eats. Or she has to wait before I can even get her in the chair with some food.

One of the things that have made things harder for us is that Anastyn was still nursing to go down for bed when I had Myrah. Once my milk came in, Andi wanted to nurse much more. And though it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined, Anastyn would get fussy and want to nurse too as soon as she saw me nursing Myrah. There seems to be a lot going on with that. She's at the independent stage of wanting to be picky about what she'll eat so she's eating less and wanting to nurse more. I read recently, to my relief, that right now their appetites go down and they don't need as much as they did the first year of life. Also to try to feed them the things in the food pyramid over the span of 1-2 weeks, instead of 1 day like we adults do. Knowing this now has been a big help and has eased some of my worring about her eating habits.

My new idea of getting Andi to take milk is putting it in a bottle

Another thing that has made things harder for us is Myrah, like Anastyn, HAS to be held to be happy (forget those Sassy seats). I feel like I'm holding Myrah all day. Half the time even after she falls asleep I can't put her down without her waking up. The front pack works sometimes. I have a little bed made up for her on my couch next to me and the computer. We spend most our day here. Myrah's lying next to me sleeping right now. Yeah! She just had a bath so she must be tuckered out!

A piece of advice another woman (who has two close together) told me was this, "Someone is going to have to cry. So I just have to decide whose turn it is." It seems like a strange piece of advice, but in those moments of guilt and high anxiety when one or both babies are crying it seems to come to mind. It helps to remind me that this is natural and we'll get through this.

One thing that has made things easier, much much easier, for us is that we co-sleep. After week one (or maybe week two) of having Myrah home with us I was talking to my husband and sharing how I don't feel sleep deprived at all. In fact, I felt great! I was sleeping better now than when I was pregnant and waking up every hour to pee! =) We concluded that co-sleeping was once again our savior. When MJ (Myrah) fussed in the middle of the night I'd roll over and feed her, barely waking up. We got to thinking about her being in a crib in another room and how much goes into waking up after the baby has gotten to the point when they're crying, getting out of bed, calming the baby down, possibly warming a bottle, feeding the baby for however long, putting it back to sleep and then crawling back to bed yourself. That's a lot of work. Half the time I barely wake up and I probably fall back to sleep before the baby does! =) I know it's not for everyone, but co-sleeping has been a blessing for us. These days MJ and Andi both sleep until around 4-6am before they wake up wanting to nurse back to sleep. We've got the night thing down! =)

Another thing that has made things easier for us is that my parents live less than 2 miles away and are both retired. They regularly, not daily, include Anastyn in their morning walks. And this week they even took Myrah twice! Monday during their walk I got the kitchen spotless, Tuesday I cleaned the living room (though you can't tell today) and got some pictures up loaded and blogging done, and today I gave Myrah a bath and have two hands to write this!

All that said, poor Heidi, Monday nights are the hardest. Andrew has a bible study from 7-9 p.m. on Monday nights and I'm stuck trying to put the girls down by myself. That seems to be the hardest time. Maybe because it's at night and Andi is SO tired, or Myrah just wants to sleep. Sometimes I try to manage myself (without success to date, though with the help of a pacifier I was able to get them both to sleep at the same time once during the day) and other times I have my mom come over for an hour so she can rock Myrah while I nurse Anastyn to sleep. And often there are times when Andi finally falls to sleep and I come downstairs to take Myrah and send my mom home, only to have Andi wake up again and we're doing it all over! During the day doesn't seem to be as bad. Sometimes when Andi wakes up after 1 hour or less of napping she's learned to sooth herself back to sleep, which as you can imagine is GREAT! Other times, Myrah is asleep down stairs and I'm able to go back and nurse Andi back to sleep. I do keep a fan going in my room to help muffle things for Andi while she sleeps.

-Myrah just woke up so it's time to end (I nurse her on the bobby pillow so I can continue to type) -

All in all every day is different and yet the same. We have our routines, but some days are just easier than others. Some days Myrah continues to sleep when Andi and I get up. Then we sneak a shower in and start breakfast and are even able to get dressed and ready for the day! Other days she's up when we're up and we do what we can to get diapers changed and babies fed.

Myrah is back down and I’ve showered since the last paragraph! My mom came back from their walk and Anastyn’s still asleep in the stroller! I had my mom watch Myrah (she’s super gassy) while I took a quick shower. See things work out. But thank God for family and husbands!

In other news, Myrah has a horrible rash all over her face and head. Baby acne? I don’t know. My mom and sister are now thinking it’s a milk allergy. I refuse to resort to that! Oh, the challenges that would bring. I’m too lazy to have a baby with milk allergies. Whatever it is, I hope it clears up soon. I was hoping to get the girls in for pictures when MJ is 10 weeks old. That’s when Andi had her first pictures taken. And since, I’m so horrible, I’ve only taken her in for photos one other time. And that was almost a year ago! I was pregnant and didn’t know it yet, so it must have been November.

Okay, I’d say that’s enough out of me for now. I have no idea what I’m doing either, I’m just doing it a couple weeks before the rest of you who are expecting. =)

Thought for today . . .

. . . and every day these days! =)

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!"

Labor Day Weekend

Myrah's first Camping Trip

Anastyn loves Myrah's Bellybutton

So on Friday we decided to head up to East Park Reservoir to join my sister Pam and her family camping that same night. We arrived around 2 a.m. and it was still really hot out. Even worse was when we woke up in our tent at 7 a.m. and it felt like 100 degrees already. Just about the time Andrew and I started to conspire to go home, I decided to join Andi by taking a dip in the water. Everything changed! Since there were no trees, the water was a life safer! I convinced Andrew to jump in, too, and we both were in better moods!

Anastyn plays in the water with Jon and Auntie Pam

When Anastyn woke up, I got her up and dressed her to go out and play for a while. She ran out of the tent and the very first thing she wanted to do was join her cousin Jon in the lake. And so she did . . . shoes and all. It was endearing. =) She spent most the day in the lake or being fed by someone. Or in the lake AND being fed by someone (ice cream).

Carly gave Andi a ice cream M&M

Both girls did great. Neighbors (including Pam's family) didn't hear either of them. I've got two great sleepers! Myrah spent most the day in the shade being held. Daddy liked his turn to hold her, 'cause that meant he got to catch up on his reading!

Myrah sleeps on Mommy/
Carly feeds Andi in the background

We only stayed the one night because it really was too hot during the day. I was a little concerned about Myrah since she couldn't jump in the lake when she got uncomfortable. That, and I think she got some sun from the reflections off the water. That night, however, after we'd already packed to leave, it cooled down and was faring rather nicely. At that point, of course, we were wishing we could stay. . . but being packed up already, we headed home and started reading The Shack for our drive.

Dinner with Grandpa

Sunday was a day of cleaning and resting. And when we sobered up to the fact that we were no longer camping we called up Grandpa Matt to hang out. We picked him up (not before we stopped to feed my new fix - jarred Starbucks frapps) and headed to San Ramon for some famous deep dish pizza. The pizza was interesting: good, but interesting. The sauce was on top! Andi loved the chunky tomatoes.

Felton (Santa Cruz) with Nana & Papa

Monday Morning we were ready to head to the mountains and be amongst the redwoods. That was the idea behind going camping, but as you saw from the pictures we were far from redwoods. =)

We went to the day use area in Felton and headed for the train first. While we were waiting for it to come through we tried on hats in the gift shop and played with a bunch of old school toys. Then we walked around outside for a bit and Papa snuck Andi some of his soda.

After waving to the train we headed down to the water hole where Nana took Andi to play in the water with buckets and shovels. Myrah mostly napped on Daddy while he read more of The Shack to me. It was pretty crowded but we had a good time.

Next we headed to the pier, where Andrew took Andi down to see the sea lions (we called them seals). Anastyn absolutely loved them! For the rest of the evening she was clapping her hands together and making (her version of) seal noises. I'm not sure who had more fun with them though, Andrew or Anastyn. Both of them seemed to be taken. It was especially cool to see three little babies, with the mama actively keeping other sea lions away from them.

We ate outside on the pier and enjoyed the sun setting. When Anastyn wasn't tied down in her high chair she had fun chasing the seagulls and trying to feed them.

It was a good weekend.