Anastyn's First Camping Trip!

As if trips to Santa Cruz, San Francisco, and LA all in one month weren't enough for our four-month-old travel editor-to-be =), we spent Labor Day weekend with Nana and Papa in the Sierras! Anastyn seemed right at home in a tent trailer surrounded by evergreen forests, 9,000-ft. mountains, clear, brisk air, and a crew of die-hard card players! I'll let the photos speak for themselves....

(Isn't she gorgeous?!)

Perspectives

Recently (in between family visits) Jodel and I went to a large formal wedding of an old Harvard friend in Southern California. It turned out I didn’t know many people there, and because Jodel and I hadn’t thoroughly reviewed the invitation and discussed our attire before packing, we ended up arriving in something between “California casual” and “business casual” among a sea of 400 suits and summer dresses. Add to that that I always feel a tad insecure in large gatherings of Harvardites because I’ve been in construction management for three years and left the academic fast-track, and you get a feel for my frame of mind walking in the door.

There was something tender and wondrous, though, about carrying our new life – Anastyn – into that setting. She didn’t know she was in a room full of PhD’s, MD’s, Hollywood moguls and world-class endodontists; she didn’t understand that Mommy and Daddy were woefully underdressed. All she knew was Mommy’s gaze, Daddy’s tender smile, loving arms holding her tight, and the kind attention of a few smiling strangers at our table.

As vulnerable as I felt socially and professionally, it was profoundly freeing to see our world through her eyes, where only what is truly important was important. Humble pride welled up as I realized that most of my peers in their residencies hadn’t been married for two and a half years, weren’t sporting a gorgeous, happy bundle of love and feistiness, didn’t know what it felt like to look your newborn that you made in the eyes and have her melt your heart with a satisfied smile. What a refreshing perspective!

I left with a renewed appreciation for the blessing my wife and daughter are to me. Thank you, God.

Generations

August was a month of new faces for Anastyn. At the beginning of the month Grandma, Great-Grandma (84 years young!), and their friend Roseanne flew out from Pennsylvania to meet the babies. It's such a special thing for generations to meet and pass the torch. 1923...1951...1979...2007. (Hey, that's the first time I've noticed we all had our babies at age 28!)



















Then at the end of the month, my cousin Julia Rose visited from DC, and my cousin Kristin visited from England. It was the first time the four Wolfe cousins had been in the same place since our grandfather passed eight years ago. Since, of the Wolfe grandkids, Benjamin and I are the first to kick off the next generation, this was the dawn of a new era of Wolfe get-togethers with kids. "Aunt Julia" (as we dubbed her) stayed in Nor-Cal for a few days and her west coast clan took turns showing her around. On our turn, we took her to San Francisco's Pier 39 and to Santa Cruz.

Highlights for Anastyn:

• watching the sea lions at Pier 39
• exploring under the table at Bubba Gump Shrimp
• seeing the pretty lights on the Fireball ride on the Santa Cruz boardwalk

Julia.... the sea lions.... peekaboo under the table at Bubba Gump Shrimp... the Fireball!

Highlights for Andrew:

• watching the sea lions at Pier 39
• enjoying a beautiful panoramic bay view from Bubba Gump Shrimp
• getting so sick on the Fireball ride that he vowed never to do something so stupid ever again

3 Months Old!

I really find it hard to believe I have a little 3 month old baby girl. I can't believe it. Oh wait - I think I mentioned that already. It feels good to get to this point, yet at the same time she'll never be a newborn again. It's hard to see the newborn stage pass, but it's exciting to anticipate what's ahead.



Yesterday she was rolling over from her back to her tummy (all but one arm). I had to give her a little push so she could get her hand out from underneath herself. She'll be rolling all around in no time.

She loves bath time. We fill our oversized tub all the way up so she can walk around. She loves kicking and splashing and licking the water. Most of all she loves fixating on the detachable shower head and the drain (which reflects as a mirror). We try to give her a bath when she gets tired at night. She gets fussy and is ready for bed around 8pm, but if we give her a bath she gets happy and energized and will play happily until her skin prunes.

Photos by: JCPenny's
10 weeks old

12 Weeks Old

Anastyn will be 12 weeks old on Wednesday!

It's amazing. It doesn't seem like it's going too fast as much as it seems like I've had her forever. I continue to be in awe of her and my love is a warm, peaceful, tender all-consuming one that wants to smother her with kisses all day long. (poor girl)

(Andi 10 weeks old - picture day)

As we approach the three-month mark she's still happy and easy. She truly is a blessing to Andrew and me. She still loves putting her hands up over her head. I call it "reach for the stars." Most days she hates being on her tummy, but the last couple of days she's been doing better. She's holding her head up and looking around for longer periods before she starts fussing. Her new favorite thing is to sit up (with help) and look around. If you lay her down she fusses until you hold her hands so she can pull herself up and sit. She's taking a liking to relaxing in her swing, but she doesn't stay asleep too long when she's in it.

Speaking of sleep: She's only waking up 1x during the night these days. We go to bed around 9:30pm and she wakes up around 4am to eat. Last week she even slept all through the night twice (waking up around 6:30-7am)!!! I'm so proud of my baby girl!

(Andi 7/22/07)

It's never too early to start them! I've been teaching Andi Texas Hold'em. Here she's playing Hand and Foot on Nana's lap. She really got into it as she loved looking at all the contrasting numbers. One of her favorite things to look at right now is our kitchen clock. She likes the bathroom one as well, but doesn't get to see it as much. Later, during cards, when she was sitting on my lap, she held her first object. Yes, folks, the very first thing she ever grabbed for, and held on to, by herself, was the 7 of spades! She's mommy's little girl!!!

(Andi and Nana Playing Cards)

Andi's 1st Big Pool!

How cute is she in her little swimsuit!!!

Today we took Andi to Pam's house where she went swimming with Daddy. It was her first time in a real pool.

8-week Well-Baby Check-Up

8 wks: 12 lbs 12.5oz, 24.5 in

(AMW: Isn't that amazing? In 8 wks her weight has increased by 64%! That's like me gaining 16 lbs per week for eight weeks. In her first four weeks she grew four inches - that's 1/8" per day! If you had one of those sped-up videos (like the ones that show flowers blooming), you could actually have seen her grow!)

She's 98% for length, 95% for weight and 90% for her head. So she's pretty big, but evenly distributed! =)

She's tall and skinny. Most people think she's a three month old when they see how big and long she is. Even the doctor said he thought she was older. I mentioned she only poops about once every three days and he said it's 'cause she's using everything I feed her . . . . "Just look at her!"

I guess that's all for now. We're feeding every three hours through the night still, but we don't get out of bed. It's not bad at all. She stirs, I roll over and feed her, we fall back to sleep. She's been kind to us. =)

-Jodel

July 4th 2007!

Our first 4th of July at the Den!

This year for the Fourth we had Benjamin, Karin, Evan and their new little one Brylie over for a BBQ. We then headed to Livermore to watch the fireworks.

Even though it was past her bedtime, Andi was awake and alert and seemed to actually be watching the fireworks! =)

Here's some Pictures of Andi (8 weeks) and her cousin Brylie (3 weeks).

Everyone thought they might look like twins, since their daddies are Identical Twins. But it turns out the look more like "Twins" with Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. =)

Reach for the Stars!

Since before she was born the girl never stops moving, but this is her favorite position. She just loves putting her hands up over her head.

Every time she does this, I say "reach for the stars" and I reach up and wiggle my fingers until they fall down on her tummy. She smiles real big and throws her arms back up and we do it all over again.

This is also her daddy's favorite thing. He says she's praising the Lord!

Bath Time!

Andi's 1st bath in her baby bath.

She's wasn't too sure about being in her little tub. She was much happier when Mommy was holding her. Any time we take her in the water she gets real quiet and alert. I wouldn't say she loves the water, but she doesn't freak out either . . . which is a blessing for us!

2 Week Check Up

Her appointment went very well. I forget all the percentiles, but they were something like 95% and 100%.

She's now 8 lbs 15oz (gaining very very well -over a pound since birth) and 22.5 inches long (big growth - they were surprised and measured her twice - two different ways - to be sure).

Everything is perfect and she's as healthy as can be.

Also, she has a great temperament so far. Yeah! =)

That's all.

Thoughts on Being a New Mommy

This was my response to the following question from my online mothers' group:

I would love to hear your thoughts on being a new mommy if you ever have time to type anything.

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Disclaimer: While I am a FTM I have had a lot of experience with infants which instills confidence in both DH and myself, blessing us with a peaceful air in which to persist and stay calm. While this maynot be everyone's experience, this is our story and our experiences as FTP for week one...
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There are days and moments when I look into the face of this precious little angel that is called "my daughter" and wonder how it could be so easy to take her home and keep her. Who are we, the "parents", that we should be allowed to take this little girl home, call her our own and raise her? No tests to pass? No fees to pay? No contracts to sign? It amazes me that just anyone can do this. If you make and have your own baby you get to keep it - no questions asked. It still amazes me that she's ours. Her care, her life and her well being all falling to us, the "parents."

When she was first born I felt a immediate need to protect her. They were washing her off for me and I felt they were being too rough. I had them stop and just give her to me. I didn't want her experiencing unpleasant things for me. However, I was fine with them poking and cleaning her when necessary. DH stood by her side the entire time, calming her. He had a much more difficult time hearing her cry as he's not used to being around babies. It was moving to see her recognize DH's voice and be calmed by it. The nurses would whisk her away and she'd cry (they were very abrupt with her) then DH would follow behind and start singing or talking to her and she'd turn towards him and listen silently. While there was a instant bond to want to protect her, knowing that I knew her best, there was a distance when I looked at her. She didn't look like me, the ultra sounds or what I'd expected. DH said she looked like her grandpa . . . that can't be good. And grandma said she looked like her daddy . . . again another male??? She was pale and had a cone head (even though one nurse kept calling her the perfect shaped head baby). I knew that changes fast and I waited. Now I look at her and see the most beautiful little face. I love her smile and wonder what she's thinking. I know I know . . . at this age smiles are suppose to be for gas, right. My baby doesn't smile when she has gas though - it's not fun. Her smile, for whatever reason she smiles, just melts me. I feel happy that she has a reason to smile. I feel somewhere in the midst of all that was difficult or that is unpleasant she found something to hold onto and smile about.

I feel proud. I feel SO proud. I feel proud that I had an amazing baby that seems so perfect. I feel proud that she spit right out, that she came right on time (two days early to be timely), that her weight and length are right on the 50% mark, that she's patient (say the nurses), that she's a happy baby and that even though nursing isn't always easy she's doing it her way when she wants and how much she wants and never lost weight but is gaining perfectly. Maybe my perceptions are a little skewed . . . but it's only because I'm so proud and in love with her. Can she do anything wrong?

DH has been home taking care of us this whole time. I'm not exaggerating when I say she hasn't been set down or left in her carseat. DH read about attachment parenting, how important touch and wearing your baby are and how you can't spoil them when their this young. So he's wearing her and taking complete care of her. It's been one week today and all I've done is feed her and change 1 diaper (that was only because I didn't want to wake DH up to do it when I was already up). I feel proud again of the bond taking place between DH and baby, knowing that this is what will bond them together for a lifetime. So much so that I worry if she'll be happy with just me when he returns to work. Sometimes I think she'd trade me in for him. Sometimes I feel a little jealous. We inwardly battle between who gets to hold her . . . though, knowing full well that I get her every day when he goes back to work, I let him have her as much as he wants . . .which really is ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes I get the feeling that she's judging me. When she doesn't want to latch on and just hovers over my nipple, never landing, I tell her, "You're gonna give mommy a complex" and hope that my milk doesn't stink or taste THAT bad. It's hard not knowing what they're thinking or wanting all of the time. I find myself wanting to kiss her more than what I think she'd like. I just can't get enough of those soft cheeks and that silky smooth hair. I look forward to the day when she'll smile or give mommy kisses back. I look forward to the day when I can be reassured that I AM more than a boob and that she does love ME. For now I'm left wondering and hoping that we can make it through next week when daddy goes back to work. I hope we can handle things on our own. If not, there's always Nana. =)

Aww . . . as I write this now she's exploding out her cute little bottom . . . flooring my husband. I just sit here and laugh as he holds her away from his body and takes her upstairs to be changed. I love this . . . the good and the bad. What a blessing to be a part of this thing they call family. Speaking of which I'm already anxiously awaiting Christmas, as it will be our first one as a "family" with our own little one. I can't wait to give to her (though I'm not a spoiler and she won't understand anyways). It just seems like such a warm time to be holding our own little miracle and to be able to be together. I can imagine the soft Christmas music now, with the fire going and the tree lit up . . .maybe some hot chocolate and cookies. I can't wait!

Speaking of family . . . now that we offically have our own Wolf(e) Cub we've decided to start refering to our house as "The Den".

DH just came back to report her cord is hanging on by a single string. Even THAT she does perfectly. She should lose it today marking a perfect one week. =) I can't wait!!! Real baths here we come!!! I'm so proud of our little one.

Overall, these days and moments string together and I think, "This is it. This is our life. Every moment will fade into a mere memory. Each event, each blow-out diaper, every struggle to latch on and all the successful moments of feeding . . .they all weave together to make our story. This is our story."

-Jodel

Introducing . . .

Anastyn (Andi) Marie Wolfe

Born May 9, 2007 at 8:08 a.m.
7 lbs 12.5 oz

20 inches long

Pre-Thoughts on Postpartum

(this was a post of mine on my online mothers' group)

Being in the hospital last night for our tour brought such of sense of calm excitement. This is it! This is my last week in my second trimester! Only a couple more weeks before this little baby is considered good to go. I passed a little baby in the hall and I couldn't believe one of those little things was kicking around inside me. I didn't want to linger and annoy the mommy so I moved right along . . . but I could have stood there and cried if I had the time.

Then last night as I lay in bed and held my precious little girl I mused to my DH about the possible feeling of loss when I take my first post-labor shower. Will I miss her? Will I miss her being so connected to me? Always with me, hearing me, feeling what I feel. I feel so close to her now . . . no one knows her like I do. If she's fussy I sing Steve Holy's "good morning beautiful" and she calms right down. I'm never alone. This since of dread and separation anxiety is coming over me. She loves our showers together . . . how can I take one without her? And I'll look down to wash my belly and it'll be empty for the first time in so long . . . =( I don't want an empty belly. =(

I know, I know . . . the joy of seeing her and meeting her. *sigh*

I'm definitely "wearing" my baby!

Happy Friday morning ladies!!!

-Jodel