News From The Wolfe Den

Caedmon Joseph Wolfe

2010-07-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

b. July 20, 2010
8 lbs., 9 oz.; 20.5 in.

Caedmon Joseph Wolfe was born today, July 20, 2010, at 3:08 p.m., at the Sandman Hotel in Langley, British Columbia. Mommy and baby are happy and healthy. The first hints of labor started just after 11 a.m., and we arrived at the hotel—to a room whose bathroom shared a wall with the manager’s office—just 23 minutes before the birth.

About the name:
The original Caedmon (pronounced ['keid.mən]) was the 7th century father of Christian English poetry. According to the medieval English historian Bede, Caedmon served as a herder at a monastery in Yorkshire. Ashamed of his complete inability to sing, one night he retreated to sleep among the animals when feasting monks took up their harps to celebrate. That night in a dream an angel ordered him to sing of God’s creation. The nine-line alliterative hymn Caedmon produced in response (so the story goes) is among the earliest extant poems in our language. For the first time in recorded church history, worship sounded like English folk music, in its language and rhythms.

Caedmon went on to create a prolific body of devotional poetry in English, much of it refashioned from Latin Bible stories, all of it now lost. Bede says of Caedmon’s impact that “by his poem-songs the spirits of many men were kindled to contempt of the world and to service of a heavenly life.” Scholar and Lord of the Rings author J.R.R. Tolkien writes that his poetry “deeply stirred his generation”; LoTR fans may not realize that Tolkien’s own term “Middle Earth” comes from a word in Caedmon’s Hymn (via the later poet Cynewulf).

The legend of Caedmon, told when English was a backwater dialect on the skirts of Latin Europe, captures the beauty of the Christian story. The God of Christian tradition speaks the languages of all of His people, not just the world’s powerful, prestigious ones like the Latin of Caedmon’s day—or like the English of ours.

The Bible’s timeless narrative of Joseph speaks of one rising out of wrenching tragedy to a position of tremendous influence. For those of us who have found redemptive value in life’s most inexplicable pains, Joseph’s words to his brothers hold special meaning: “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good” (Gen. 50:20). The name also echoes Jodel’s name as his sister Andi’s does mine. Lastly, it recalls my late grandfather, Joseph Henry Wolfe (1917-1998).

Imagination Blossoms

2009-02-28T12:22:00.001-08:00

Anastyn seems to have passed a developmental milestone and now engages in a lot of “imaginative play.” Some particularly endearing and humorous examples:

She laid a pillow on the living room floor, lined up her dolls on top of it, pulled a blanket overtop, then put a finger to her mouth and said, “Shhhh!” Her babies were sleeping!
She took her little “Madagascar” hippopotamus toy over to Mommy, put it up to her cheek, and made a kissy noise. What a lovey-dovey hippo!
And my personal favorite: She was holding her plush owl round about chest level so I asked her, “Are you nursing the owl?” She proceeded to pull up her shirt and hold the owl in a football hold to her bare tummy. She even walked around the house like that, swaying left and right as if nursing the owl to sleep. Since that time she’s done it a few more times. This morning it was with a plush dog, and she added, “Pleeeeease” as if the dog was asking her if it could nurse. (The dog sounded suspiciously like Anastyn when she wants to nurse….)

Meanwhile Myrah has recently learned to sit on her own, and even lunged forward after a beaded necklace yesterday! Until then all she had done was crawl backwards until she got stuck under the couch. She now growls at people – happy but loud, aggressive noises – and it cracks her up to see Mommy in the mirror.

Wolfe Christmas Letter (on the 10th day)

2009-01-03T16:08:00.000-08:00

O holy child of Bethlehem, descend to us, we pray
Cast out our sin and enter in, be born in us today
We hear the Christmas angels the great glad tidings tell
O come to us, abide with us, our Lord Emmanuel

— Phillips Brooks (1835-1893)

Dear friends,

Merry Christmas! (For the record, a Christmas letter isn’t late until after the twelfth day of Christmas. We’re still on day #10.) We hope that you and yours have been enjoying a festive season filled with all the joy that Christmas and the New Year can bring. We at the Wolfe home are grateful for 2008’s many blessings and wanted to share some highlights with you.

Of course the greatest joy of 2008 was the arrival of our second daughter, Myrah Jean, on July 29. She came with no small fanfare, beating the paramedics’ response time and arriving in our master bathroom. Her name, which means “myrrh,” celebrates Christian worship and commemorates Andrew’s grandmother Mary Jane, who passed the month Myrah was conceived. At five months, My is a communicative child who holds your gaze and coos a lot. She’s happily proving wrong everyone who said our second child couldn’t possibly be as easy as our first.

Her sister Anastyn, now 19 months old, loves her baby sister. During Myrah’s first few months Andi would regularly come and kiss Baby on the head. Now “baby” is her clearest word and one of her favorites. Andi surprises us daily with new vocab. She recently added “ati” for coffee and “shoop” for T’choupi, the French-speaking penguin she loves to read about. Daddy is particularly proud of how well she does playing a thematic variation of Concentration called “I Never Forget a Face” that features 24 international children’s faces. (Sure, the cards are face-up, but she puts all the pairs together!) She also already recognizes dozens of animals by name—not just dogs and cats but walruses and flamingos, too! And lest you fear Daddy has made her a total brainiac, she also shows an early penchant for accessorizing necklaces, hats, and shoes. Our lives as parents overflow with the love and joy she and her sister bring.

We are grateful for the provision of steady employment through these shaky times. Jodel has been able to continue as a stay-at-home mom without diverting energy from raising the girls to making money. Swapping out her desk job for motherhood has been the most rewarding thing Jodel has ever done. Of course motherhood isn’t without its challenges, but for her the tough parts and frustrations don’t compare with the fun parts and joys, and every bit of it is part of the wondrous journey of parenting.

We’re grateful for California this year–what a beautiful state! Despite the wee ones, we’ve managed memorable getaways to Carmel-by-the-Sea, Mt. Tamalpais, and San Francisco. We’re always mindful that we get to live where everyone else vacations. Speaking of which, if you live out of state, we’d love to show you around. We got to do just that with dear visitors from Scotland, Oregon, and PA this year.

May found us in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for a week, along with Jodel’s parents and maid of honor Nicole. The highlight for Andrew was his ten-minute romp with a baby jaguar at the Vallarta Zoo. He proudly bares his battle scar where the playful kitten grazed his tummy. As a pregnant woman, Jodel reveled in the resort’s all-you-can-eat buffets with made-to-order omelets and crispy tacos.

Andrew is grateful for personal and spiritual growth in 2008. His reading of Lesslie Newbigin’s Proper Confidence: Faith, Doubt, and Certainty in Christian Discipleship brought a lot of things together for him as he has long struggled in seeking out a lasting peace between his Christian faith and his love for science. Finding resolution to some of those concerns has reawakened Andrew’s joy in the things of God and opened a new chapter in his life’s story. In this and in many other such developments Andrew won’t bore you with here, we find hope for a richly fulfilling 2009.

In this season we are full of dreams for the future. How could our family’s God-given gifts best be used for the betterment of others? We’ve been prayerfully mulling over what it might look like for the Wolfes to shift gears from construction management in California to Bible translation work overseas for the thousands of cultures with no access yet to God’s Word in their heart language. That’s been a long-term goal of Andrew’s for more than a decade, actually, and it’s been on our radar as a couple for half as long (i.e., since we met), but somehow it feels closer as we turn the calendar to 2009. That’s inspired a lot of chatter around the Wolfe house the last couple of months. It’s just darned exciting.

Lastly, we’re grateful for you, dear family and friends. We’d love to hear from you sometime and invite you to stop by in person or leave a comment at our poorly kept up e-home here. (Perhaps regular blogging will make it to the new year’s resolution list!) May your Christmas season be joyful and your new year be better than the last!

Warmly,

Andrew, Jodel, Anastyn & Myrah Wolfe

Dedicated.

2008-12-06T14:36:00.000-08:00

On September 21, 2008, Anastyn Marie Wolfe and Myrah Jean Wolfe were dedicated to the Lord. It was a beautifully emotional occasion for their parents. Mama gave up on choking back the tears, overwhelmed by the joy and honor of giving our little girls back to God; Daddy held Myrah in one arm and wrapped the other one around the crying mama. Family from both sides came to our church (Celebration Christian Center) for the occasion: Nana & Papa McGinty, Grandpa Wolfe, Uncle Benjamin and Auntie Karin with cousins Evan and Brylie, Auntie Jen with cousins Justin, Kyle, and Cody, and our dear friends Matt and Tasha.

Witnessed by the congregation, family and friends, we pledged to raise our daughters in a home where "love is the atmosphere, prayer is the norm, the Bible is the standard, and faith is the foundation"; we committed to our own growth in our relationship with the Lord (so as to serve as "Godly examples" for them), and to raising our children in the "House of the Lord, where their lives can be influenced by the loving examples of kind and caring people." The pastor led the congregation in prayer for them.

For Jodel and me, the most significant decision in the week leading up to the ceremony was the selection of a "life verse" for each of our daughters. The pastor's wife reads it as the parents approach the platform. In particular, we wanted to pick true life verses, not verses (such as, "let the little children come to Me") that would wear with age. With such rich meanings to their Christian names, our daughters needed verses that would focus those themes and broaden their application to all of life.

The life verses we selected for them are as follows:

For Anastyn, whose name means "resurrection," "resilience," or "one who gets back up":

Proverbs 24.16a, and Isaiah 40.31: "For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again. Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

For Myrah, whose name means "myrrh" (fragrant incense offered in worship since the time of Moses, up through modern high church tradition):

Psalm 141.2-4, 8a: "Let my prayer be counted as incense before You; The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering. Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. Let not my heart incline to what is evil, To practice wicked works With those who are evildoers; Let me not eat of their delicacies. My eyes are fixed on You, O Sovereign Lord; In You I take refuge."

Afterward, we invited family to our house to celebrate over lunch. Now, I had planned to offer a separate dedicatory prayer before the meal, as a way of making the ceremony "our own." Still apparently a rookie to this fatherhood thing, I'd envisioned a serene, near-transcendent moment where my firstborn held my loving gaze, and my newborn cooed at me with twinkly eyes as I invoked God's blessings on their lives. =) Instead, the wee one fussed and fussed, and we had to pry our other little cherub from some exciting outdoor play to join the big people inside. She was none too thrilled, and everyone else wanted to get to eating!

Too distracted to put an entire morning's worth of memorizing to the test, I pulled out my cheat sheet, paused a moment to welcome the wonderful "earthiness" of my transcendent moment, and read out a slightly modified section of a prayer I'd found online from the book Celtic Daily Prayer:

When you are young children
we as your parents cover
and clothe you
in our love
and with our faith.

As you grow
may faith grow with you.
May you find the presence
of Christ your clothing
and protection.
And year by year may the
knowledge of His presence
be greater for you,
that daily you may put on Christ
and walk as His own in the world.

Anastyn Marie and Myrah Jean,
may God make clear to you each road;
may He make safe to you each steep;
should you stumble, hold you;
if you fall, lift you up;
when you are hard pressed with evil,
deliver you --
and bring you at last to His glory.

We closed with a Wolfe family tradition of three generations, singing the doxology (the "Common Doxology" to the tune of "Old 100th") to bless the family meal:

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;
Praise Him, all creatures here below;
Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts;
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!

Amen.

I held back a couple of tears of my own as my heart swelled with love and thankfulness for my daughters and for the great tradition of faith in a loving God passed down in my family for many generations. What a joyous moment, to welcome our girls into the family of faith "surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses," and to recognize that they belong to such a beautiful God.

More Money Please . . .

2008-09-27T14:20:00.000-07:00

As both girls are sleeping, I sit down to finally blog what's been on my mind. Myrah wakes up and is now nursing but this is how things go these days. =)

Twice in the last few weeks when talking to woman I've been asked what I do. I respond with enthusiasm and say, "Nothing!" and smile. They then go on to explain how they too get to stay home and just love it. But then they go on to tell me about what they do on the side and both have summed it up with, "that way I feel like I'm contributing and helping out (financially)." My first response is shame and I want to add that for awhile I was doing daycare to help out, or that I sell things online occasionally or that I . . . wait . . . no, I really don't do much to bring in money. Then instead of feeling like a slacker a sense of consuming pride fills within me. And then I think to myself how wonderful it is that my husband provides totally for our family.

I feel a little old-fashioned. And at the same time it makes me feel more like a woman. Letting my husband be the man that he was created to be, for me, means also letting him provide for us completely. And it feels great. My way of "contributing" is not by bringing in more, which might imply that what he does isn't enough, but by cutting back. It's my job to take what he gives me and make a family budget. It's my job to see that our budget works for us. It feels GOOD to pay $3 for a pair of shoes for the girls, or to buy something we need used in good condition. It feels GOOD to hunt for good deals and save our family money. It feels GOOD to live within a budget. And I know it makes my husband proud.

So you won't hear me talking about going back to work or buying a new SUV (tempting). We love traveling, Starbucks (Jamba Juice for Andrew) and those little things that make life more comfortable (looking at my toes I could sure use a pedicure =). And money is one of those things we could all use more of. Trust me, I still look forward to that raise coming in January and being able to live in a house that I'd feel a little more comfortable in. But at the same time, where I'm at and where we live now is great, it's safe and it feels like home. So, between my husband's hard work and my savings we're able to enjoy all these things (on occasion) and truly live blessed while still being able to give and bless others. It feels GOOD to be where we are. It feels GOOD to have my man be my provider. And it feels GOOD to be a little old-fashioned.

I'm proud of my husband. I'm proud of my manly provider (who, might I add, not only works hard for his family doing something that doesn't necessarily thrill him, but also comes home and works hard to help around the house and give mommy needed breaks from the precious girls).

My Man

I'm a lucky girl.
I've got a strong man.

Two Under Two

2008-09-17T13:17:00.000-07:00

Today I blog in repsonse to a couple of expectant mothers who also have toddlers Anastyn's age and have asked me how I'm getting along with the girls. I think we all have the same fears going into this phase of life with two babies so young and close together.

Andi and MJ both asleep on the couch.

Here was my response . . .

Let me start by saying two things:

1. It DOES get easier.

2."Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow

For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!"

I found my fear of having the two so close with Andi being so young was not all together necessary. The one advantage to all my worrying is I can honestly say, "it's not as bad as I thought it would be," and "Anastyn is doing much better than I expected." That said, I do have two wonderful babies. My heart goes out to the parents of colicky babies all the time. I just can't imagine.

The first week (stretched to 2-3 weeks really) I had a lot of help from my mom. She did the cooking and cleaning and the helping hold one baby while I put the other one down. I had no idea what I'd do once she stopped coming over all day until hubby got home. But when that day came I had to face it and I found it to go surprisingly well. It was almost a welcomed relief and assurance . . . I CAN do this. Just us girls. I'M the mom.

There are moments when things don't go as smoothly as I'd like. I found out early on that Anastyn CAN fall asleep with a crying baby laying right next to her. =/ And there are times, most days in fact, that the house work waits as I play with and take care of my babies. Too often the high chair doesn't get cleaned after Andi eats. Or she has to wait before I can even get her in the chair with some food.

One of the things that have made things harder for us is that Anastyn was still nursing to go down for bed when I had Myrah. Once my milk came in, Andi wanted to nurse much more. And though it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined, Anastyn would get fussy and want to nurse too as soon as she saw me nursing Myrah. There seems to be a lot going on with that. She's at the independent stage of wanting to be picky about what she'll eat so she's eating less and wanting to nurse more. I read recently, to my relief, that right now their appetites go down and they don't need as much as they did the first year of life. Also to try to feed them the things in the food pyramid over the span of 1-2 weeks, instead of 1 day like we adults do. Knowing this now has been a big help and has eased some of my worring about her eating habits.

My new idea of getting Andi to take milk is putting it in a bottle

Another thing that has made things harder for us is Myrah, like Anastyn, HAS to be held to be happy (forget those Sassy seats). I feel like I'm holding Myrah all day. Half the time even after she falls asleep I can't put her down without her waking up. The front pack works sometimes. I have a little bed made up for her on my couch next to me and the computer. We spend most our day here. Myrah's lying next to me sleeping right now. Yeah! She just had a bath so she must be tuckered out!

A piece of advice another woman (who has two close together) told me was this, "Someone is going to have to cry. So I just have to decide whose turn it is." It seems like a strange piece of advice, but in those moments of guilt and high anxiety when one or both babies are crying it seems to come to mind. It helps to remind me that this is natural and we'll get through this.

One thing that has made things easier, much much easier, for us is that we co-sleep. After week one (or maybe week two) of having Myrah home with us I was talking to my husband and sharing how I don't feel sleep deprived at all. In fact, I felt great! I was sleeping better now than when I was pregnant and waking up every hour to pee! =) We concluded that co-sleeping was once again our savior. When MJ (Myrah) fussed in the middle of the night I'd roll over and feed her, barely waking up. We got to thinking about her being in a crib in another room and how much goes into waking up after the baby has gotten to the point when they're crying, getting out of bed, calming the baby down, possibly warming a bottle, feeding the baby for however long, putting it back to sleep and then crawling back to bed yourself. That's a lot of work. Half the time I barely wake up and I probably fall back to sleep before the baby does! =) I know it's not for everyone, but co-sleeping has been a blessing for us. These days MJ and Andi both sleep until around 4-6am before they wake up wanting to nurse back to sleep. We've got the night thing down! =)

Another thing that has made things easier for us is that my parents live less than 2 miles away and are both retired. They regularly, not daily, include Anastyn in their morning walks. And this week they even took Myrah twice! Monday during their walk I got the kitchen spotless, Tuesday I cleaned the living room (though you can't tell today) and got some pictures up loaded and blogging done, and today I gave Myrah a bath and have two hands to write this!

All that said, poor Heidi, Monday nights are the hardest. Andrew has a bible study from 7-9 p.m. on Monday nights and I'm stuck trying to put the girls down by myself. That seems to be the hardest time. Maybe because it's at night and Andi is SO tired, or Myrah just wants to sleep. Sometimes I try to manage myself (without success to date, though with the help of a pacifier I was able to get them both to sleep at the same time once during the day) and other times I have my mom come over for an hour so she can rock Myrah while I nurse Anastyn to sleep. And often there are times when Andi finally falls to sleep and I come downstairs to take Myrah and send my mom home, only to have Andi wake up again and we're doing it all over! During the day doesn't seem to be as bad. Sometimes when Andi wakes up after 1 hour or less of napping she's learned to sooth herself back to sleep, which as you can imagine is GREAT! Other times, Myrah is asleep down stairs and I'm able to go back and nurse Andi back to sleep. I do keep a fan going in my room to help muffle things for Andi while she sleeps.

-Myrah just woke up so it's time to end (I nurse her on the bobby pillow so I can continue to type) -

All in all every day is different and yet the same. We have our routines, but some days are just easier than others. Some days Myrah continues to sleep when Andi and I get up. Then we sneak a shower in and start breakfast and are even able to get dressed and ready for the day! Other days she's up when we're up and we do what we can to get diapers changed and babies fed.

Myrah is back down and I’ve showered since the last paragraph! My mom came back from their walk and Anastyn’s still asleep in the stroller! I had my mom watch Myrah (she’s super gassy) while I took a quick shower. See things work out. But thank God for family and husbands!

In other news, Myrah has a horrible rash all over her face and head. Baby acne? I don’t know. My mom and sister are now thinking it’s a milk allergy. I refuse to resort to that! Oh, the challenges that would bring. I’m too lazy to have a baby with milk allergies. Whatever it is, I hope it clears up soon. I was hoping to get the girls in for pictures when MJ is 10 weeks old. That’s when Andi had her first pictures taken. And since, I’m so horrible, I’ve only taken her in for photos one other time. And that was almost a year ago! I was pregnant and didn’t know it yet, so it must have been November.

Okay, I’d say that’s enough out of me for now. I have no idea what I’m doing either, I’m just doing it a couple weeks before the rest of you who are expecting. =)

Thought for today . . .

2008-09-16T14:30:00.001-07:00

. . . and every day these days! =)

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep!"

Labor Day Weekend

2008-09-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

Myrah's first Camping Trip

Anastyn loves Myrah's Bellybutton

So on Friday we decided to head up to East Park Reservoir to join my sister Pam and her family camping that same night. We arrived around 2 a.m. and it was still really hot out. Even worse was when we woke up in our tent at 7 a.m. and it felt like 100 degrees already. Just about the time Andrew and I started to conspire to go home, I decided to join Andi by taking a dip in the water. Everything changed! Since there were no trees, the water was a life safer! I convinced Andrew to jump in, too, and we both were in better moods!

Anastyn plays in the water with Jon and Auntie Pam

When Anastyn woke up, I got her up and dressed her to go out and play for a while. She ran out of the tent and the very first thing she wanted to do was join her cousin Jon in the lake. And so she did . . . shoes and all. It was endearing. =) She spent most the day in the lake or being fed by someone. Or in the lake AND being fed by someone (ice cream).

Carly gave Andi a ice cream M&M

Both girls did great. Neighbors (including Pam's family) didn't hear either of them. I've got two great sleepers! Myrah spent most the day in the shade being held. Daddy liked his turn to hold her, 'cause that meant he got to catch up on his reading!

Myrah sleeps on Mommy/
Carly feeds Andi in the background

We only stayed the one night because it really was too hot during the day. I was a little concerned about Myrah since she couldn't jump in the lake when she got uncomfortable. That, and I think she got some sun from the reflections off the water. That night, however, after we'd already packed to leave, it cooled down and was faring rather nicely. At that point, of course, we were wishing we could stay. . . but being packed up already, we headed home and started reading The Shack for our drive.

Dinner with Grandpa

Sunday was a day of cleaning and resting. And when we sobered up to the fact that we were no longer camping we called up Grandpa Matt to hang out. We picked him up (not before we stopped to feed my new fix - jarred Starbucks frapps) and headed to San Ramon for some famous deep dish pizza. The pizza was interesting: good, but interesting. The sauce was on top! Andi loved the chunky tomatoes.

Felton (Santa Cruz) with Nana & Papa

Monday Morning we were ready to head to the mountains and be amongst the redwoods. That was the idea behind going camping, but as you saw from the pictures we were far from redwoods. =)

We went to the day use area in Felton and headed for the train first. While we were waiting for it to come through we tried on hats in the gift shop and played with a bunch of old school toys. Then we walked around outside for a bit and Papa snuck Andi some of his soda.

After waving to the train we headed down to the water hole where Nana took Andi to play in the water with buckets and shovels. Myrah mostly napped on Daddy while he read more of The Shack to me. It was pretty crowded but we had a good time.

Next we headed to the pier, where Andrew took Andi down to see the sea lions (we called them seals). Anastyn absolutely loved them! For the rest of the evening she was clapping her hands together and making (her version of) seal noises. I'm not sure who had more fun with them though, Andrew or Anastyn. Both of them seemed to be taken. It was especially cool to see three little babies, with the mama actively keeping other sea lions away from them.

We ate outside on the pier and enjoyed the sun setting. When Anastyn wasn't tied down in her high chair she had fun chasing the seagulls and trying to feed them.

It was a good weekend.

2008-07-29T22:34:00.000-07:00

Written By: Andrew M. Wolfe

Jodel and I are proud to announce the birth of our second daughter,

Myrah Jean Wolfe, at 10:34 p.m. on Tuesday, July 29, 2008.
She was 20 inches long and weight 6 lbs. 15 oz.

This little one comes with quite a story!

After an uneventful day with no pre-labor, Jodel went to put Anastyn Marie (our firstborn, now 14 months old) to bed. Nursing her to sleep kicked Jodel into full-fledged labor – the contractions started at 4 minutes apart and 40 seconds long! We second-guessed it for about an hour, thinking it might still be false labor, but at 10:15 momma told me I needed to get Nana to watch Anastyn. The back pain was so bad at that point she said it was definitely time for an epidural. I called Nana and took Anastyn downstairs so she wouldn't crawl all over mommy.

Fifteen minutes later, my wife screamed, "AAANNNDDDRRREEEWWW!!!" and I ran upstairs. "Call 9-1-1!" she urged. I'd never called 9-1-1 before. "Really? Are you – are you sure?" I asked. "CALL 9-1-1!!"

Scarcely had I spit out "My wife is having a baby, like, RIGHT NOW!" and our address before Jodel called to me from across the bed in the master bathroom: "OH MY GOD! SHE'S COMING!!"

"That can't possibly mean what I think it means," I thought as I dropped the phone and dashed across the room. But it did. By the time I got there, my wife was holding our newborn baby right there above the floor of the master bathroom. That's right – Jodel delivered her own baby! I got back on the phone with the 9-1-1 operator, and (after congratulating the proud papa) they guided me through wrapping her up, wiping her off, and using a shoelace from my steel-toed work boots to tie off the umbilical cord while we waited for the paramedics.

Mommy and baby are healthy and happy and back from the hospital now. Our firstborn, Anastyn Marie (now 14 months old) is insatiably curious about the new arrival and enjoys pointing out that baby has a nose!

"Myrah" means "myrrh," an incense many know from the Christmas story as a gift from the magi, but which has been an integral part of worshiping God from the Exodus through to modern-day High Church traditions. The "MJ" initials recall my grandmother Mary Jane, who passed away shortly after Myrah was conceived, and to an extent the other Mary's in my family as well: Aunt Mary Jo, Aunt Mary Eleanor, and grandma Marilouise. (Both grandmothers Mary Jane and Marilouise were church musicians, bringing the worship and family themes full circle.) The "Jean" follows a tradition of middle names in Jodel's family: Barbara Jean, Jodel's mother; Jennifer Jean, Jodel's sister; and Courtney Jean, Jodel's niece. One last bit of significance: My pet name for Jodel from our early courtship has been meri jaan, an Urdu term of endearment meaning "my life"; it became her online screen name, and so many of her online friends know her as MJ as well.

Anastyn's First Camping Trip!

2007-09-15T20:26:00.000-07:00

As if trips to Santa Cruz, San Francisco, and LA all in one month weren't enough for our four-month-old travel editor-to-be =), we spent Labor Day weekend with Nana and Papa in the Sierras! Anastyn seemed right at home in a tent trailer surrounded by evergreen forests, 9,000-ft. mountains, clear, brisk air, and a crew of die-hard card players! I'll let the photos speak for themselves....

(Isn't she gorgeous?!)

Perspectives

2007-09-15T20:13:00.000-07:00

Recently (in between family visits) Jodel and I went to a large formal wedding of an old Harvard friend in Southern California. It turned out I didn’t know many people there, and because Jodel and I hadn’t thoroughly reviewed the invitation and discussed our attire before packing, we ended up arriving in something between “California casual” and “business casual” among a sea of 400 suits and summer dresses. Add to that that I always feel a tad insecure in large gatherings of Harvardites because I’ve been in construction management for three years and left the academic fast-track, and you get a feel for my frame of mind walking in the door.

There was something tender and wondrous, though, about carrying our new life – Anastyn – into that setting. She didn’t know she was in a room full of PhD’s, MD’s, Hollywood moguls and world-class endodontists; she didn’t understand that Mommy and Daddy were woefully underdressed. All she knew was Mommy’s gaze, Daddy’s tender smile, loving arms holding her tight, and the kind attention of a few smiling strangers at our table.

As vulnerable as I felt socially and professionally, it was profoundly freeing to see our world through her eyes, where only what is truly important was important. Humble pride welled up as I realized that most of my peers in their residencies hadn’t been married for two and a half years, weren’t sporting a gorgeous, happy bundle of love and feistiness, didn’t know what it felt like to look your newborn that you made in the eyes and have her melt your heart with a satisfied smile. What a refreshing perspective!

I left with a renewed appreciation for the blessing my wife and daughter are to me. Thank you, God.

Generations

2007-09-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

August was a month of new faces for Anastyn. At the beginning of the month Grandma, Great-Grandma (84 years young!), and their friend Roseanne flew out from Pennsylvania to meet the babies. It's such a special thing for generations to meet and pass the torch. 1923...1951...1979...2007. (Hey, that's the first time I've noticed we all had our babies at age 28!)

Then at the end of the month, my cousin Julia Rose visited from DC, and my cousin Kristin visited from England. It was the first time the four Wolfe cousins had been in the same place since our grandfather passed eight years ago. Since, of the Wolfe grandkids, Benjamin and I are the first to kick off the next generation, this was the dawn of a new era of Wolfe get-togethers with kids. "Aunt Julia" (as we dubbed her) stayed in Nor-Cal for a few days and her west coast clan took turns showing her around. On our turn, we took her to San Francisco's Pier 39 and to Santa Cruz.

Highlights for Anastyn:

watching the sea lions at Pier 39
exploring under the table at Bubba Gump Shrimp
seeing the pretty lights on the Fireball ride on the Santa Cruz boardwalk

Julia.... the sea lions.... peekaboo under the table at Bubba Gump Shrimp... the Fireball!

Highlights for Andrew:

watching the sea lions at Pier 39
enjoying a beautiful panoramic bay view from Bubba Gump Shrimp
getting so sick on the Fireball ride that he vowed never to do something so stupid ever again

3 Months Old!

2007-08-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

I really find it hard to believe I have a little 3 month old baby girl. I can't believe it. Oh wait - I think I mentioned that already. It feels good to get to this point, yet at the same time she'll never be a newborn again. It's hard to see the newborn stage pass, but it's exciting to anticipate what's ahead.

Yesterday she was rolling over from her back to her tummy (all but one arm). I had to give her a little push so she could get her hand out from underneath herself. She'll be rolling all around in no time.

She loves bath time. We fill our oversized tub all the way up so she can walk around. She loves kicking and splashing and licking the water. Most of all she loves fixating on the detachable shower head and the drain (which reflects as a mirror). We try to give her a bath when she gets tired at night. She gets fussy and is ready for bed around 8pm, but if we give her a bath she gets happy and energized and will play happily until her skin prunes.

Photos by: JCPenny's
10 weeks old

12 Weeks Old

2007-07-30T09:55:00.000-07:00

Anastyn will be 12 weeks old on Wednesday!

It's amazing. It doesn't seem like it's going too fast as much as it seems like I've had her forever. I continue to be in awe of her and my love is a warm, peaceful, tender all-consuming one that wants to smother her with kisses all day long. (poor girl)

(Andi 10 weeks old - picture day)

As we approach the three-month mark she's still happy and easy. She truly is a blessing to Andrew and me. She still loves putting her hands up over her head. I call it "reach for the stars." Most days she hates being on her tummy, but the last couple of days she's been doing better. She's holding her head up and looking around for longer periods before she starts fussing. Her new favorite thing is to sit up (with help) and look around. If you lay her down she fusses until you hold her hands so she can pull herself up and sit. She's taking a liking to relaxing in her swing, but she doesn't stay asleep too long when she's in it.

Speaking of sleep: She's only waking up 1x during the night these days. We go to bed around 9:30pm and she wakes up around 4am to eat. Last week she even slept all through the night twice (waking up around 6:30-7am)!!! I'm so proud of my baby girl!

(Andi 7/22/07)

It's never too early to start them! I've been teaching Andi Texas Hold'em. Here she's playing Hand and Foot on Nana's lap. She really got into it as she loved looking at all the contrasting numbers. One of her favorite things to look at right now is our kitchen clock. She likes the bathroom one as well, but doesn't get to see it as much. Later, during cards, when she was sitting on my lap, she held her first object. Yes, folks, the very first thing she ever grabbed for, and held on to, by herself, was the 7 of spades! She's mommy's little girl!!!

(Andi and Nana Playing Cards)

Andi's 1st Big Pool!

2007-07-06T16:25:00.000-07:00

How cute is she in her little swimsuit!!!

Today we took Andi to Pam's house where she went swimming with Daddy. It was her first time in a real pool.

8-week Well-Baby Check-Up

2007-07-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

8 wks: 12 lbs 12.5oz, 24.5 in

(AMW: Isn't that amazing? In 8 wks her weight has increased by 64%! That's like me gaining 16 lbs per week for eight weeks. In her first four weeks she grew four inches - that's 1/8" per day! If you had one of those sped-up videos (like the ones that show flowers blooming), you could actually have seen her grow!)

She's 98% for length, 95% for weight and 90% for her head. So she's pretty big, but evenly distributed! =)

She's tall and skinny. Most people think she's a three month old when they see how big and long she is. Even the doctor said he thought she was older. I mentioned she only poops about once every three days and he said it's 'cause she's using everything I feed her . . . . "Just look at her!"

I guess that's all for now. We're feeding every three hours through the night still, but we don't get out of bed. It's not bad at all. She stirs, I roll over and feed her, we fall back to sleep. She's been kind to us. =)

-Jodel

July 4th 2007!

2007-07-04T23:05:00.000-07:00

Our first 4th of July at the Den!

This year for the Fourth we had Benjamin, Karin, Evan and their new little one Brylie over for a BBQ. We then headed to Livermore to watch the fireworks.

Even though it was past her bedtime, Andi was awake and alert and seemed to actually be watching the fireworks! =)

Here's some Pictures of Andi (8 weeks) and her cousin Brylie (3 weeks).

Everyone thought they might look like twins, since their daddies are Identical Twins. But it turns out the look more like "Twins" with Danny Devito and Arnold Schwarzenegger. =)

Reach for the Stars!

2007-06-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

Since before she was born the girl never stops moving, but this is her favorite position. She just loves putting her hands up over her head.

Every time she does this, I say "reach for the stars" and I reach up and wiggle my fingers until they fall down on her tummy. She smiles real big and throws her arms back up and we do it all over again.

This is also her daddy's favorite thing. He says she's praising the Lord!

Bath Time!

2007-06-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

Andi's 1st bath in her baby bath.

She's wasn't too sure about being in her little tub. She was much happier when Mommy was holding her. Any time we take her in the water she gets real quiet and alert. I wouldn't say she loves the water, but she doesn't freak out either . . . which is a blessing for us!

2 Week Check Up

2007-05-23T10:53:00.000-07:00

Her appointment went very well. I forget all the percentiles, but they were something like 95% and 100%.

She's now 8 lbs 15oz (gaining very very well -over a pound since birth) and 22.5 inches long (big growth - they were surprised and measured her twice - two different ways - to be sure).

Everything is perfect and she's as healthy as can be.

Also, she has a great temperament so far. Yeah! =)

That's all.

Thoughts on Being a New Mommy

2007-05-16T12:04:00.000-07:00

This was my response to the following question from my online mothers' group:

I would love to hear your thoughts on being a new mommy if you ever have time to type anything.

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Disclaimer: While I am a FTM I have had a lot of experience with infants which instills confidence in both DH and myself, blessing us with a peaceful air in which to persist and stay calm. While this maynot be everyone's experience, this is our story and our experiences as FTP for week one...
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There are days and moments when I look into the face of this precious little angel that is called "my daughter" and wonder how it could be so easy to take her home and keep her. Who are we, the "parents", that we should be allowed to take this little girl home, call her our own and raise her? No tests to pass? No fees to pay? No contracts to sign? It amazes me that just anyone can do this. If you make and have your own baby you get to keep it - no questions asked. It still amazes me that she's ours. Her care, her life and her well being all falling to us, the "parents."

When she was first born I felt a immediate need to protect her. They were washing her off for me and I felt they were being too rough. I had them stop and just give her to me. I didn't want her experiencing unpleasant things for me. However, I was fine with them poking and cleaning her when necessary. DH stood by her side the entire time, calming her. He had a much more difficult time hearing her cry as he's not used to being around babies. It was moving to see her recognize DH's voice and be calmed by it. The nurses would whisk her away and she'd cry (they were very abrupt with her) then DH would follow behind and start singing or talking to her and she'd turn towards him and listen silently. While there was a instant bond to want to protect her, knowing that I knew her best, there was a distance when I looked at her. She didn't look like me, the ultra sounds or what I'd expected. DH said she looked like her grandpa . . . that can't be good. And grandma said she looked like her daddy . . . again another male??? She was pale and had a cone head (even though one nurse kept calling her the perfect shaped head baby). I knew that changes fast and I waited. Now I look at her and see the most beautiful little face. I love her smile and wonder what she's thinking. I know I know . . . at this age smiles are suppose to be for gas, right. My baby doesn't smile when she has gas though - it's not fun. Her smile, for whatever reason she smiles, just melts me. I feel happy that she has a reason to smile. I feel somewhere in the midst of all that was difficult or that is unpleasant she found something to hold onto and smile about.

I feel proud. I feel SO proud. I feel proud that I had an amazing baby that seems so perfect. I feel proud that she spit right out, that she came right on time (two days early to be timely), that her weight and length are right on the 50% mark, that she's patient (say the nurses), that she's a happy baby and that even though nursing isn't always easy she's doing it her way when she wants and how much she wants and never lost weight but is gaining perfectly. Maybe my perceptions are a little skewed . . . but it's only because I'm so proud and in love with her. Can she do anything wrong?

DH has been home taking care of us this whole time. I'm not exaggerating when I say she hasn't been set down or left in her carseat. DH read about attachment parenting, how important touch and wearing your baby are and how you can't spoil them when their this young. So he's wearing her and taking complete care of her. It's been one week today and all I've done is feed her and change 1 diaper (that was only because I didn't want to wake DH up to do it when I was already up). I feel proud again of the bond taking place between DH and baby, knowing that this is what will bond them together for a lifetime. So much so that I worry if she'll be happy with just me when he returns to work. Sometimes I think she'd trade me in for him. Sometimes I feel a little jealous. We inwardly battle between who gets to hold her . . . though, knowing full well that I get her every day when he goes back to work, I let him have her as much as he wants . . .which really is ALL THE TIME.

Sometimes I get the feeling that she's judging me. When she doesn't want to latch on and just hovers over my nipple, never landing, I tell her, "You're gonna give mommy a complex" and hope that my milk doesn't stink or taste THAT bad. It's hard not knowing what they're thinking or wanting all of the time. I find myself wanting to kiss her more than what I think she'd like. I just can't get enough of those soft cheeks and that silky smooth hair. I look forward to the day when she'll smile or give mommy kisses back. I look forward to the day when I can be reassured that I AM more than a boob and that she does love ME. For now I'm left wondering and hoping that we can make it through next week when daddy goes back to work. I hope we can handle things on our own. If not, there's always Nana. =)

Aww . . . as I write this now she's exploding out her cute little bottom . . . flooring my husband. I just sit here and laugh as he holds her away from his body and takes her upstairs to be changed. I love this . . . the good and the bad. What a blessing to be a part of this thing they call family. Speaking of which I'm already anxiously awaiting Christmas, as it will be our first one as a "family" with our own little one. I can't wait to give to her (though I'm not a spoiler and she won't understand anyways). It just seems like such a warm time to be holding our own little miracle and to be able to be together. I can imagine the soft Christmas music now, with the fire going and the tree lit up . . .maybe some hot chocolate and cookies. I can't wait!

Speaking of family . . . now that we offically have our own Wolf(e) Cub we've decided to start refering to our house as "The Den".

DH just came back to report her cord is hanging on by a single string. Even THAT she does perfectly. She should lose it today marking a perfect one week. =) I can't wait!!! Real baths here we come!!! I'm so proud of our little one.

Overall, these days and moments string together and I think, "This is it. This is our life. Every moment will fade into a mere memory. Each event, each blow-out diaper, every struggle to latch on and all the successful moments of feeding . . .they all weave together to make our story. This is our story."

-Jodel

Introducing . . .

2007-05-09T08:08:00.000-07:00

Anastyn (Andi) Marie Wolfe

Born May 9, 2007 at 8:08 a.m.
7 lbs 12.5 oz

20 inches long

Pre-Thoughts on Postpartum

2007-02-02T08:33:00.000-08:00

(this was a post of mine on my online mothers' group)

Being in the hospital last night for our tour brought such of sense of calm excitement. This is it! This is my last week in my second trimester! Only a couple more weeks before this little baby is considered good to go. I passed a little baby in the hall and I couldn't believe one of those little things was kicking around inside me. I didn't want to linger and annoy the mommy so I moved right along . . . but I could have stood there and cried if I had the time.

Then last night as I lay in bed and held my precious little girl I mused to my DH about the possible feeling of loss when I take my first post-labor shower. Will I miss her? Will I miss her being so connected to me? Always with me, hearing me, feeling what I feel. I feel so close to her now . . . no one knows her like I do. If she's fussy I sing Steve Holy's "good morning beautiful" and she calms right down. I'm never alone. This since of dread and separation anxiety is coming over me. She loves our showers together . . . how can I take one without her? And I'll look down to wash my belly and it'll be empty for the first time in so long . . . =( I don't want an empty belly. =(

I know, I know . . . the joy of seeing her and meeting her. *sigh*

I'm definitely "wearing" my baby!

Happy Friday morning ladies!!!

-Jodel